ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think people are normalizing furries
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
