halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
