She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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