I puked a lego.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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