yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
