It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
