Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
