Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
