I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Two words: nipple clamps
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