We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
either way he was missing a nipple.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
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dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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