yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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