the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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