hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
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