Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
