Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
