Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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