Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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