i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize