what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Can I color on your dick again?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
