I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
