Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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