I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
