well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
