Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't deserve a penis
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
