love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
