ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
