You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
