I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
