Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
