Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
