quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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