I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
