We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
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you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
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I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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