She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
