Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Someone shit on the floor
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We just shotgunned beers for America
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
