did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
