I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
