Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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