oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
