she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
