I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
