I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
