it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
