Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
