He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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