Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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