dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
