weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
