I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You're like the curious george of whores
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
