you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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