you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
