Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
