I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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