please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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