You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
