McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Of course I have a pirate flag
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
