Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
