I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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