He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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