i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Canadian or clown?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.