hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
