I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The struggles of a small town man whore
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
