:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
