How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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