I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
