I should be sponsored by Trojan
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
