Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
