I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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