Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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