a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
