FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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