Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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