i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
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I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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