Your tits are I can't wait for
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
