You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
