Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
