i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have aggressive nipples.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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