I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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